Successful women in 'double bind' (4)

"Of course I want to look after my daughter and my parents. It's in my nature. But I don't like being told you're a woman, so don't be so ambitious outside, and take more responsibility at home."

Successful women speak

Shanghai Daily talks to four Chinese women business leaders who share their experience and offer advice to young Chinese women who want to have it both ways - to have it all.

Stella Jin

Founding partner Keytone Ventures

Observations: "People think it should be the woman to take care of the child and parents. That is very difficult when you are an executive and need to travel a lot. That's a fact of life. Women do more."

Suggestions: "I only reconciled with the concept of 'leftover women' two years ago. Many of my young friends are in their 30s, unmarried and don't want to settle for less. I acted like a mother, urging them to find a boyfriend and get married, but then I realized it should be their minds, not mine. And they are actually happy this way. So it is important to find out what really makes you happy."

Huoy-Ming Yeh

Managing director, SVB Capital China

Observations: "I notice there are actually more senior-level women in China doing what I do than in the US."

Suggestions: "Freeze your eggs!"

"Be confident. I read that a woman's beauty is truly reflected in her confidence and I really believe in that. Chinese culture teaches us to be modest, and confidence is not the same as arrogance. Give yourself more credit."

Melissa Lam

General manager and chief financial officer, China, EF Education First

Observations: "EF is in the business of training for professionals. In my eight years here, I have seen more women training at the professional level than men. They are as capable, enthusiastic and ambitious as men."

Suggestions: "At every stage, I've been incredibly lucky to have great mentors. So I suggest women find these people to connect with. Other people are incredibly helpful.

Asking is also very important. Every time I asked for something, I have received it, whether a new challenge or a new opportunity. A lot of people, particularly women, are afraid to ask for things. You must ask, even though it can be very scary."

Lina Wong

Managing director, Colliers International's East and Southwest China and China Investment Services

Observations: "I can see many young Chinese women get pressure to marry, especially from parents. And women themselves get very worried, especially after age 30 and the clock starts ticking. Unfortunately, a lot of Chinese men like younger girls, but you don't want that kind of men anyway if they are only marrying you for your youth, because you will get old."

Suggestions: "As a woman, we should recognize that women are disadvantaged, get over it and overcome it. Then we also recognize our strength and appreciate it."

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